Objective
|
To be the amazing friend you brag about to your other friends to make them step up their game. |
Professional Achievements
|
Flexibility
- Despite not playing an instrument, managed to become part of the coveted band geek clique in high school.
- Compatible with friends of all genders.
Dedication
- Very rarely will dump a friend even when they really, really are huge assholes.
- Have only ever bailed on a hang out because of pet death.
- Still have one friend from grade school.
- Excels at long-distance and internet friendships.
Modesty
- Cute but not spectacular – you can be the hot friend!
- Have only completed an undergraduate degree; smart enough to talk about anything you want to talk about but probably not as smart as you.
- Imposter syndrome under regular relapse.
|
Skills
|
|
|
- Ass-kissing
- Video games
- Book-learning
- Internet Meme fuckery
- Tweeting
- Cat cuddling
|
|
|
Work History
|
|
|
|
| Lonely Working Asshole |
Adulthood |
2007-Present |
| Drama Nerd |
High School Though College |
1996-2007 |
| Weeaboo |
Grades Six Though College |
1994-2003 |
| Baby Goth |
Grade Eight |
1995-1996 |
|
Education
|
| Small Group of Weirdos |
Primary School |
1989 –
|
|
References
|
If I had friends to act as references, I wouldn’t need this resume, dingus. |
Be the first to comment.